Seventh Son (2014)
This isn't a review. I'm forced to watch this little stinker, so I'm going to live-blog the experience so you can all enjoy it with me. THIS POST CONTAINS SERIOUS SPOILERS. Although, to be honest, you'll probably see it all coming anyway. Cliche #1: old guy who can kick your ass Cliche #2: dragon in a cave Cliche #3: men=good, woman=bad (and mother and witch archetypes, but it's a genre *shrug*) Cliche #4: seventh son of a seventh son. This one might actually be a trope, but the world building gives no reason for its existence. Cliche #5: mother's amulet - clearly a Chekhov's Gun Cliche #6: witch who possesses unnatural/immortal beauty Cliche #7: old guy with practical priorities Oh my gosh. A Tavern labelled "Tavern"!? *sigh* Terry Pratchett's Mended Drum is the pinnacle of tavern-naming genius. Cliche #8: beautiful girl being burned as a witch (damsel in distress) Cliche #9: teasing the sexual tension (when Tom meets whatshernam