Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)


Okay, this film has some serious drawbacks for many different kinds of fans. And the people involved in making it. It sees Henry Jones, Jr. older, facing the logical aftermath of one of his failed relationships, and allows a resolution satisfying to some of us in the aging fanbase. In that aspect, this film is well-grounded. As I am frequently a liberal buzz-kill for many a dudebro power-fantasy franchise, I liked it. I want to see more of that, and yes, Marion's character can change that much in the intervening years. I've changed more than that in the last three months.

Indiana Jones is dragged into his cold-war anti-russian shenanigans by a greaser and prep-school dropout (Shia LeBeouf, whose acting I do not dislike as much as the internet tells me I should), and goes continent hopping to the nostalgic sounds of your childhood. This film tones down the "native savages as interfering goons" trope, but is still marred by the three or four scenes of it that remain. I suppose nobody has argued that the franchise ISN'T white-Western-centric.

*spoiler alert* It's aliens. The whole thing is big-skulled, trans-dimensional . . . oh hells. Why do I bother? It's like people who talk about this film can't say anything else. And then they rant about how aliens is a betrayal of the IJ fantasy/magic aesthetic. . .

Nonsense. There's nothing wrong with having the secret of the skull be aliens. I also don't see that there's much else to grouse about except that the villain's telepathic skills should have been much more deeply explored, and not made a throwaway. Also, stop making your hero immune to telepathy. It didn't work in Twilight either.

And for those of you complaining about how he survived by being thrown out of a nuclear blast inside a refrigerator. . . I totally wasn't watching, but I have no real objections to a bit of suspension-of-disbelief-pushing silliness. It's all silly. YOU'RE ALL JUST A PACK OF CARDS.

But the thing that broke my heart about this film, and let the annoyed boycotting begin, was John Hurt. I love him so much and I miss him, and my heart hurts and my eyes are getting foggy and from Alien (1979) to Whistle and I'll Come to You (2010) and every Doctor Who appearance, his presence IS magic, and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull did that exactly right. Resquescat In Pacem.

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